if you’re a sarcastic asshole come sit with me because i’m one too
the-vashta-nerada: today my sister asked me for a glass of cold water and i sarcastically asked her “how cold” and she said “as frigid as your love life”
What I think when kids in my class read
That’s a PERIOD, NOT A COMMA That’s a COMMA, NOT A PERIOD Why the hell can’t you pronounce that word? THE TEACHER JUST CORRECTED YOU WHY’D YOU GET IT WRONG AGAIN?!?!?! Can I sleep? If you can’t read, why’d you raise your hand? You can’t pronounce THAT word? WHAT THE HELL The fuck you like long ass paragraphs for My skin’s crawling Oh god not him, his voice sounds like a dying nail on a...
peanutbutta: It either takes me 5 months to read a book or I read five of them in 2 days. There is no inbetween.
batched: In the Netherlands you don’t say “I love you”, but “kaas, klompen en wiet klootzak”, which translates to “Without you, I am nothing”. I think that’s so beautiful.
You’re going to go on to do incredible things,” he says. “I’ve always known...– Warner to Juliette; Unravel Me (via thelostgeccynderella)
eposetties: but will you still all follow me when im no longer young and beautiful
waitinforthebus: what a great nap, i feel totally disoriented and i’m frothing with hate
jaredhower: i hate when i wear a skirt or dress somewhere and people ask me why i’m dressed so fancy like i don’t need an occasion to free my legs from the constraints of pants thank you very much
ohshititsgreg: A part of me dies every time no one gets my joke
15hypens: in 7th grade we had this german teacher who immigrated to america from Germany about 23 years ago and one guy in my class thought it would be funny to ask him “Hey, because you’re german does that make you a Nazi?” and in a very thick german accent he replies “Hey, because you’re a white american boy, does that make you a slaveholder?” and the kid never tried to be funny in that class...
tumbler-teen: who cares if school doesn’t teach us how to raise a family or get a job like at least I can find the area of a triangle.
people my age are getting pregnant and married and i can’t even order a pizza over the phone
googlehomie: ahh school… *inhales deeply* the sweet smell of a flawed education system and high stress levels
egberts: of all the dumb stuff i did when i was younger at least i can proudly say i was never a fan of annoying orange
ncprepmeetsworld: Range Rover, Range Rover. I call a cute guy with a trust fund over.
My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for...
sewingmomma: My childhood.
seersuckered-lilly: I wish I could have Sarah Vicker’s clothes, look like Kate Middleton, have a personality like Audrey Hepburn, be a leader like Jackie O, and have a job like Lauren Conrad. Is that so much to ask for?